after talking to a lot of people and having an internal debate (yeah, i like to talk to myself. alot. but not out loud. :X), i realised..this is the harsh reality. only the fittest survive. when you are worse than others, you will be kicked out. it's so cruel.

i feel so guilty. i want to tell myself it's not my fault, but it feels like an excuse. a lousy excuse. and the worst part is, i admit a small part of me didn't want her to be here. AHH IM A MEAN PERSON! i hate myself!

i should stop thinking about it. i sincerely hope she will find a better job that suit her well. im so so sorry, really. i. feel. so. emotionally. drained.